Tips For Healthy Coping
Healthy Coping for Common Reactions to Trauma
With homecoming, you may need to re-learn how to feel safe, comfortable, and trusting with your family. You must get to know one another again. Good communication with your partner, children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, and others is the key. Give each other the chance to understand what you have been through. When talking as a family, be careful to listen to one another. Families work best when there is respect for one another, and a willingness to be open and consider alternatives.
Tips for Feeling Better
It’s fine for you to spend some time alone. But, if you spend too much time alone or avoid social gatherings, you will be isolated from family and friends. You need the support of these people for a healthy adjustment.
You can help yourself to feel better by:
- Getting back to regular patterns of sleep and exercise
- Pursuing hobbies and creative activities
- Planning sufficient R&R and intimate time
- Trying relaxation techniques (meditation, breathing exercises) to reduce stress
- Learning to recognize problems to watch out for and how to cope with them
- Striking a balance between staying connected with former war buddies and spending individual time with your partner, kids, other family members, and friends
- Communicating more than the “need-to-know” bare facts
- Talking about your war zone feeling depressed or to avoid disturbing memories. Drink responsibly, or don’t drink
- Creating realistic workloads for home, school, and work
Steps to Assuming Normal Routines
If you have recently been deployed, soon after your return, plan to have an open and honest discussion with your family about responsibilities. You all need to decide how they should be split up now that you’re home. It’s usually best to take on a few tasks at first and then more as you grow accustomed to being home. Be willing to compromise so that both you and your family members feel your needs are understood and respected.
Try to re-establish a normal sleep routine as quickly as possible. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Do not drink to help yourself sleep. You might try learning some relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.
Steps to Controlling Anger
Recognize and try to control your angry feelings. Returning service members don’t always realize how angry they are. In fact, you may only recognize your emotion when someone close to you points it out. You can help control your anger by:
- Counting to 10 or 20 before reacting
- Figuring out the cues or situations that trigger your anger so you can be better prepared
- Learning relaxation techniques (breathing, yoga, meditation)
- Learning ways to deal with irritation and frustration and how not to be provoked into aggressive behavior
- Walking away
- Thinking about the ultimate consequences of your responses
- Writing things down
Important Points to Remember
Readjusting to civilian life takes time — don’t worry that you’re experiencing some challenges. Find solutions to these problems. Don’t avoid.
- Take your time adding responsibilities and activities back into your life
- Reconnect with your social supports. This may be the last thing you feel like doing, but do it anyway. Social support is critical to successful reintegration
- Review BATTLEMIND to understand where some of your automatic behaviors come from
- Remind your loved ones that you love them
- Realize that you may need to talk about the experiences you had with a chaplain or counselor
